What racism is not

One of the things white people as a culture have in common (except for a few openly proud bigots) is the fear of being explicitly called or otherwise associated as being a racist.  This is in fact what gives the Race Card its trump status.  As a white man I realize I can't speak about racism from any sort of personal experience, but conceptually the subject needs to be discussed.  I've seen too many people unnecessarily tiptoe around race discussions out of irrational fear.  So as a public service, I'll get the conversation started.

Before moving on we need to define racism.  Here is my own definition in two parts:

1. The belief that one race is superior to another.
2. The belief that any particular individual is any more or less capable because of their race.

Knowing this, here are three examples people typically confuse as being racist which should not qualify.

1. Mentioning someone's race to describe them.  If you're trying to find out if someone knows a person you're talking about, it's okay to describe them as black, white, asian, or hispanic. I've seen white friends try to avoid bringing up this obviously helpful attribute to the point of it being comical.  As another example, in a recent Yahoo article, author Calvin Hennick makes another common mistake, assuming that a person who mentions a person's race to describe an encounter that scared them is racist.  The woman described a angry traffic encounter with someone she described as "a big black guy".  In this case, the description probably wasn't the most relevant, but unless she described him as a big angry guy and then followed that up with "whisper-cup hands" and softly but intentionally accentuated "...And he was black!" it was probably just the psychology of trust and appearance and not a specific indictment of race.


2. Connecting a person's race to cuisine.  People of similar cultures often prefer similar fashions, music, and foods oddly enough.  Most of us also know that not everyone of a similar culture will like all of the same things, so this may bring questions.  So if a white person asks a black person if they like chicken, ribs, or watermelon it may just be an honest question (or jab between trusting friends), but even if a person incorrectly makes assumptions about what someone else may prefer to eat or drink based on race, stereotyping is a far cry from racism.


3. Loosely correlated subjects or coincidences.  Newsweek was recently blasted for this cover about the risks of smuggled bush meat spreading ebola.  However, because of the hypersensitivity around past racist literature drawing parallels to people of African decent and chimpanzees, the mere mention of a disease from Africa and a chimp cover made people go ape shit (that was a joke not racism).  Even if the editors of Newsweek are racist, there's no proof in that pudding.  Another example I have is based on personal experience.  In the above mentioned Yahoo article, the author states he doesn't have to worry about being followed in a store even though his son will.  While I have no doubt this happens, not every instance of being followed in a store has to do with racism.  For example, I would often go to department stores after work with a tie and my ID badge on. This would make people mistake me for a store employee and ask me where the product was located.  Then I'd have to explain I didn't actually work there.  One time I happened to be browsing similar merchandise as an African American woman.  I didn't really think anything about it until she looked at me angrily and said "why are you following me?".

Racism definitely exists and still happens more than I'll ever experience.  I'm grateful for that.  But as Sigmund Freud is incorrectly attributed to have said "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

Scent of a Man

I recently killed some time at the fragrance counter of Macy's and Sephora setting up my Christmas List for scents I don't currently own.  I split my results into winners and losers and ranked them from favorite to least in both categories. Originally, Prada White and Chris Dior were tied, so I had the woman behind the counter break the tie for me. However, she looked at the writing on my test strips before sniffing so there could have been some bias there, especially if the house is named Prada, so take it for what it's worth.

Winners	Losers
Aqua di Parma (any)	CK One
Gucci Guilty	Kenneth Cole Mankind
Lacoste Live	Hugo Boss
Gucci Guilty Black	Versace por Homme
CK Dark Obsession	CK Eternity
Prada White	Prada Black
Christian Dior Homme	Versace Erros
Paco Rabanne Million	Prada Amber por Homme Intense
	CK Obsession

Scent of a Celebrity

Stephanie and I had a date night on Saturday. After dinner at Chili's we went to the Prime Outlets Mall. Our last stop was Perfumania where they were having a sale on celebrity scents. There were hundreds of different scents being carried, and so to pass the time I decided to sample them and have a smell-off among some of the various colognes (not all of them celebrity sponsored).  Here are my favorites from least to most:

12.  Brut
11.  YSL (Yves Saint Laurent)
10. JPG (Jean Paul Gaultier)
9. Givenchy Blue
8. Joop
7. Armani Sport
6. Blue Bulgari
5. Hugo Boss Pure
4. Ferarri Black
3. Paris Hilton Just Me
2. Michael Jordan Flight
1. Drakkar Noir

Which colognes or perfumes are you into?

Meet what you Eat - Don't eat Meat

My friend Randy asked me to watch the documentary Forks over Knives and offer my thoughts. The movie advocated for a plant based diet citing evidence that as we migrate toward processed foods and animal based foods, health has declined and obesity and obesity related illnesses have skyrocketed.

I'm not sure what his motivations for asking me about this were, but I was a 19 and 1/2 year vegetarian who recently incorporated meat back into my diet. At a high level, Forks over Knives was a wake-up call to me. Not necessarily to go back to vegetarianism but to pay attention to what I eat and how my body feels as a result.

Overall, I feel the movie overhyped nutrition and and underhyped calorie restriction. I do believe that a plant based diet is healthier than a meat and junk food centric diet and science supports this as well. However, there are dangers in vegetarian lifestyles especially vegan. It is difficult to get all of the amino acids your body needs from a strict plant based diet. It can be done, but only with more work than most people are willing to put into their diet. I think restricting calories is the better approach. If you base what you eat on a calorie limit, you are less restricted on what you can eat, you just need to ration how much. This way you are free to listen to your cravings, which is your brain's interpretation of what your body is screaming for (your body wants salt and your brain gives you a picture of pickles or potato chips). You are also more likely to balance your desire for sugar and fat with your need to feel satisfied by opting for lower calorie foods with more protein, complex carbohydrates and fiber. Unfortunately, portion control is also work, mainly logging everything you eat, but with the freedom of full choice rather than full exclusion of entire food categories, I believe the long term success goes up (e.g. Atkins was the meat lover's veganism and look what happened to that fad).

Forks over Knives cited scientific studies with fun graphics and charts. It also personalized the message by spotlighting individual success stories. Finally, it juxtaposed irony like the former farmer turned scientist advocating against dairy and livestock consumption or fire fighters from Texas moving off of meat for their meals at the fire house. I think the movie tried to oversell the lifestyle by overpromising an end to cancer and heart disease and understating the role of genetic markers, exercise and primary and secondary environmental factors in health and wellness.

Despite these drawbacks and my own personal skepticism this movie was motivational in making me rethink the attitudes and behaviors I exhibit with respect to the number one factor under my control - what I eat. I need to challenge my lazy notion that a calorie is a calorie is a calorie. It's time for me to meet what I eat.

Randy, now I have a Netflix recommendation for you - Fat Sick & Nearly Dead.

Family Funeral

Tomorrow I will be getting up at 4:00 am to drive to my Grandfather's funeral. I was lucky in that I had both of my grandfathers into my mid thirties. One I am close to and one I was not. This is the grandfather I was not close to. Hopefully my mom, grandmother and others close to him will get the closure they need from this. I am going for them.

Not Being Crazy. It's Not a Small Thing.

Yesterday I told Stephanie that some chick at the store was hitting on me. However, she was totally messed up in the head. When Steph asked how I knew, I said because she was hitting on me! I do not have a track record of attracting socially functioning women. But that's probably my own fault for projecting a false image of stability in all the wrong places. Kind of like taking a keg to an AA meeting. Well, that and the fact that I am really not flirt worthy. But I prefer not to dwell on that.

Paradoxically, my wife is not crazy. But come to think of it, she never really hit on me either. She just sort of stuck around, and put up with my sexual innuendos. So I hugged her and thanked her for not being crazy. After all, that was one of the reasons I married her. Well, that and the whole love thing.

Another Christmas Season - Heavier and Lighter

Today we go to the in-laws for Christmas Eve Day, followed by late night mass, spend the night and get up and go to my parents. This is our first holiday with Caleb, so it's going to be challenging caring for him while on the run, but at least we agreed with our family to keep everything very low budget this year, which lightens the burden of carrying gifts. It's going to be a busy two days!

A Prisoner in my own Home

Today while Stephanie was away at doctor appointments and shopping, I stayed home to watch Caleb. While having a sudden attack of cabin fever, I realized the frame for the baby carrier (a minimal stroller less bulky than a travel system) was in Steph's car, so I couldn't take Caleb out for a walk. I was frustrated and called Steph asking her if she could buy an extra frame so we don't have to worry about which one of us has it. While she did that, I cured my cabin fever by clipping on the baby monitor and setting up more Christmas lights outside.

work those muscles!

I've been working out for 20 days in a row now, and I feel like I'm going to explode. Unfortunately my weight loss isn't matching my muscle gain so that beach body will have to wait. I'll keep you posted with the 30, 60 and 90 day progress. Hopefully, the pics will show progress as well. If they don't I won't gross you out by posting them.

I need some Readers, yo!

Maybe I'll start updating this stuff more. Not that anyone cares about my shit, but maybe you could share your thoughts?

Had dinner at Di Carlo's in Franklin, WI last Friday with Rook & Rachel, Tom & Renee, and Kim. The Pino Grigio was okay.

On an unrelated note, I think MGD Light 64 tastes like crap.

Dinner and Drinks

Monday night Stephanie and I enjoyed a home cooked meal compliments of Mom & Dad. Brandon and Kristen were there too. Dad had some kind of respiratory ailment where he'd start coughing every time he laughed - which sucks because there's this joke I've been dying to tell.

Last night I had some drinks with Compton at Mojo's in Menomonee Falls. We talked about some "what if" scenarios with the house if Steph and I both get jobs in Menomonee Falls. I was getting quite buzzed, but we stayed long enough so that I cleared up for the drive home.

Here's to new old friends

In the last few months I've talked with 4 of my former college roommates and reconnected with a friend. Yeah it's you from Tennessee, girl! So it's good to be back out of the books and into the real world. This weekend I'm going to call my friend Compton and hang with him.

This week I have an interview coming up and so does Steph. Don't know if anything will come of it..

Busy week - Busy people

Last Saturday, was Jimmy Buffett at Alpine Valley. What a blast!

On Tuesday, we saw Reba McEntire at the Bradley Center for the Northwestern Mutual show. Yes, she's still singing well, and smokin' hot.

On Thursday, we saw Bill Maher at the Riverside Theatre to get the latest political humor.

This Saturday, we ran in the 2008 Sauasage Race at Miller Park with 2500 other runners. I can still run a 5k in under 30 mins, but closer to 30 than 20. :(

California Trip

We just got back from vacation in California. 3 Days in San Diego and 3 Days in L.A. Everything was beautiful, except Long Beach. There was garbage in the water. Yuck. Some of the activities included: Old Town, Gas Lamp District, San Diego Zoo, Balboa Park, Del Mar Beach, Coronado Island and beach, Queen Mary ship/hotel tour, Star Trek exhibit, Frank TV taping, Long Beach, Dodger/White Sox Game. I'll get some pictures out here.

It was a weekend

It rained this weekend. A lot. My car almost got swept off the road twice. I made it to Japanica for Hibachi grill food along with 12 others to celebrate my birthday, Randy's birthday and Al's birthday. Steph couldn't make it - she had a party to attend with her sister for Uline. I also went bicycle riding on Saturday. Worked great until I crashed into Chip. We rode to a bike shop to get my bike repaired while he wiped off his bloody leg. Then I got two support calls from work. I had to cut the ride short, turn around, and dock my laptop at a Cousin's Subs to fix these issues before returning home. On Sunday, I had enough time to mow the grass and remove two dead baby birds from my yard in between thunder storms. We also went to Barns and Noble to plan our trip to California next week.

Busy weekend

This weekends activities included going to the Q2 Promotion Party for work. It was a great time. I only got to visit with colleagues for about 1.5 hours due to a Sex and the City engagement at the Magestic in Brookfield. While I'm against meals in movie theatres, I broke down for some tuna cracker something or other since it was 9:30 and I had not eaten since noon (and I never eat breakfast). Suffice it to say, the movie was great - much like the series. On Saturday I went to the Brewer game with my cousin Calloway and 2 of his coworkers. We had a catered meal and special seats in the Dew Deck and got to see Ben Sheets win another victory as the Brewers beat the Astros. Unfortunately, the Cubs won earlier that day, too. Then it was on to the Miller Ride for the Arts. Stephanie and I biked 25 miles then visited my folks, then went to Loppnow Daughter's Greenhouses to buy plants, then ate at A&W, then went home to do yard work for 4 hours. What a weekend! I'm going to bed!

Work & Play

Today I had training at the Downtown office and I will again tomorrow. Something about being a successful consultant. I knocked their socks off with some role-playing bit where I presented for our team our project plan to automate HR record storage for a fictional law firm, Digby, Digby & Digby. I even decided that if the lady instructor could play John E. Digby, then I could be Peter. That's right my friends, I was role-playing with the teacher!

This Monday I rode my bike to work. 44 miles round trip with a laptop on my back, and the worst roads I've seen in years. I don't think I could have made it if my friend C-man hadn't been pushing me lately to bike with him. I've also been dabbling with potential employment options. I've got an agent at K-force looking into some prospects. Any thoughts on this company, friends?

We're still solid at Softball

As a backup to our company's softball team, I subbed for a game last Thursday. We won 16-12. I didn't have a whole lot to do with that. I didn't suck, but I didn't shine either. On the other hand, I came in 2nd in the dart tournament a while back, solidifying the fact that the first victory wasn't a fluke. I'm actually okay at darts! Cool.

Today we saw the Brewers win with Jenny and Paul and then went to visit Grandma & Grandpa to see the results of their cataract surgeries. But first, we went to Lake Lawn Lodge for a $45 per person breakfast (after tax, tip, and splitting Mom's bill with 5 other people). Was it worth it? Hell, no! But what can I do about it? Prove that I don't love my Mother-in-law by speaking up? I may be dumb, but I ain't stupid!

My first post

I'm looking forward to softball practice assuming it doesn't rain tomorrow. Tonight I'll be hanging out with all the pretty girls at aerobics class. It's okay. Stephanie checks out the dudes she interviews and I check out the workout gals. It's an arrangement we have.